The GAJJABB Phenomenon

All our life we have used certain lingos in different phases of our life. We have caught those lingos unaware and later they became a part of our vocab. When i came to this college the coolest lingo was ironically "Cool Hai". Every situation whether good, awesome, bad, pathetic, suicidal was some how referred to as cool hai. But in these three years the cool hai syndrome has slowly detoriated and has been replaced by a more irritating more loud lingo known as "Aree Gajjabb". Yes it sounds cheap and believe me it is cheap. Quoting Arundhati Roy Aree Gajjabb has seeped into the like college vocab. like tea from a teabag. Every instance is followed by a loud harsh chorus of arre gajjabb. They first years are more noticeably affected by this. In the recently organised radio auditions i came to realise that the 1st years actually think of arre gajjabb as the most awesome thing they have come across. Children are so lame when they are in school. Gajjab can be considered as the Hindi translation of the word Miracle. In other words guys in our college have become so lame that the simplest of things appears like a miracle to them. This gajab thing is more irritating bcoz of the variety it comes in. I used to think the slow motion "aaaaaaarrrrreeeeeeee ggaaaaaaaaajjjjjjjjjjjaaaaaabbbbbbbbbbb..........." is the most irritating form till my roomie started using "aree gazaaaa" in a speed of humming bird wing flapping/sec. And he uses this for every sentence i , he or anyone speaks.

"No class today" Aree gazaaaa....

"Ohh.. i lost my purse" Aree gazaaaa....

" I am going to sneeze" Aree gazaaaa....

"..... " Aree gazaaaa.... It torments me after every sentence or moment of silence

The speed with which its eating into our college soon we will have multi linguistic forms of arre gajabb...

some hypothetical examples...:

1. Bengali :- Gojjob to bhai..

2. Punjabi :- Oye Gajjab, gajjab Oye

3. Tamil :- Aiyo Gajjab Da...

4. Gujarati :- Aa to Gajjab Che

5. Tapori :- Aila Gajjab

and as our college goes abroad as we can see this year some truly gajjab public are going to Turkey, Italy.... we will soon have gajjab versions in foreign languages too like :-

1. French :- La Gajjab

2. Russian :- Gajjab Da..

3. American :- Gajjab You, Gajjab You, Gajjab You....

Maybe soon companies will also change there tag lines to suit the gajjab revolution like say.

Intel - Intel outside, Gajjab inside...... Unlike my college people who are gajjab outside, idiot inside.

Idea - gajjab Idea Sirji....

Ohh i am sick of this. people use this phrase more no. of times than they blink their eyelids in a day. Its really sad to see the kind of people who are currently infesting the college with their pathetic gajjab way of thinking.. When will people realise that its ur inner quality and not ur screaming for attention which makes you truly gajjab.

How Xciting can it get??

We in radio nitroz have an excellent track record of involving the college to have some serious fun. Be it last years verve, autofest or rangoli we have always aced it and did brilliant job. So to take this a step further we agreed to make Xcite happening this year. A lot of promises were made to us.. so we reached the arena... here is what i wttnessed for the next three days..

Day 1: No publicity had been done about nitroz conducting the event nor did radio recive any extra help from ppl organinsing such a mega fest. still keeping heads high we walked in the grounds to our corner most stage. A dimly lit, short heighted stage with bad sound systems... ok no problem still we are ready to roll..
minutes into the event and we r told rather rudely that no non registrd collg student is allowd to hav fun.. so just fr sm fun in ur own collg shell out Rs.100... so cheap... but unfortunately we dont make the rules... few more minutes and we art told we cant play music.. no problem if music is booming in other arenas but we cant.. great..
so despite ppl getting a bit bored for all these shortcomings we smwat pull off a good show and end the day a bit dissapointed. For the next day we r promised goodies nd stuff..

Day 2: we still dont recive ne aids nd get a lukewarm response to the event human ludo.. finally we do some nonsense and have a bit of fun deciding to make it grand the third day..

Day 3: track is ready, event all set, goodies ready... nd we geat a huge crowd.. event who dares win starts off with a huge support.. within a few minutes we are asked to cut music and pause for some time as biz quiz prelims are to take place.. so we oblige to the request.. and they start not only the quiz but also dj workshop.. even before the onset of the fest we were told no dj nite will be there so the name got modified to dj workshop and obviously whole collg goes to attend it.. still ok, after all its a collg fest.. i just enquire how long its gonna run.. the answer is 3-3:30 after that we can carry it on upto 4.. so we are a bunch of assholes to wait fr 3 hours doin nothing.. we pack up.... xcite over.

I am not crying foul, not that i didnt expect such assholism but i put college first over personnal disagreements and wanted to make it big... but if the organisers give a damn abt repo of collg nd only thing which matters is the revenue.. i feel it ws my stupidity to get radio into this nd spoil our image...
i've learnd my lesson the hard way.. things are not going to change unless our juniors come up and start working for the college nd nt for showing how awsm they are.. i feel the junior batches might be able to bring in the change.. whats done cant be repaired now , so i wish the junior batches the best of luck and hope they take the college to a level which it truly deserves..

Shopping habits of GIRLS

I am a final year engineering student which means i am encountering unanswerable and un-understandable questions for the past 5 years in my vivas. I've also felt stumped by some questions during my job interviews. I've felt illiterate. But all these questions were such which i could have known... maybe. But these are nothing compared to what girls can ask you. Like:
Q1. Which color suits me more copper or silver??
Ans. What????
Q2. Should i try out a noodle skirt or a haram-pant??
Ans. Are these food items???
Q3. (In a shop..) Will these ear buds go with my "THAT" black frock???
Ans. ...................
I mean half of the times i don't know whether they are questions or declarative statements. How am i supposed to know whether a step hair-cut is better than a laser-cut or not (these are the scientific names of some of the hair cut species) or does a strap shoe looks better than step shoes along with capries. And this list is endless full of surprises , stuff you did not know existed suddenly comes bang in front of you confronting you and demanding your opinion and rating. And a girl might shop for hours in seven different shops inspecting seventeen hundred different things without actually taking anything. OMG!!!!

A girl will go into the shop to buy just a packet of salt or a magi and then will start examining all the make-up items, all kind of clothes and accesories and on watever she stumbles on the way.. Y ????? y not leave with what you want and come back for the remaining stuff when u actually need it.. but if they change all these they wont be girls ne more rt??

Tips for guys when out shopping with a girl and being bombarded by alien questions:

1. If it is a question about smthing suits her or not and you dont have an iota of an idea what she is talking about... dont look lost.. safest answer is u look good in everything..if she smiles ur safe, if she is still staring..u look amazing in this.

2. Never try to give unproffesional advices.. they will know u are lying.

3. ya, dont look at other girls while she is shopping.

4. girls love comparing themselves with other girls.. especially if the other girl is looking bad.. Do not negate her.. whatever she is saying is correct.

5. a girl saying ok now lets shop for u is a very dangerous comment.. she will just get u in the mall and wander in the ladies section.. dont fall in this trap.

6. look cheerfull while she is shopping, giving irritated expressions is very wrong.. that will hurt her which u certainly wont like..

when i am out shopping with my friend a big problem i face sometimes is when she gets struck between which 1 to buy.. this one or that one... this is a very time consuming situation, she wants both but doesnt want to waste so much cash... my solution gift her 1 of them.. the smile she will give u is priceless...

so now ur all ready to go shopping... have fun...

Uses of vaigra- The ones which you dont know of

Viagra- A name we have all heard of. But all we know about it is its use.. and a few jokes related to Viagra. But that's not all, let me take you to a trip down the history of Viagra.

Hits and Misses

Viagra was not always a banana growth pill.It took a lot of work and several failed attempts to reach this conclusion. First, the scientists tried to use Viagra as an additive to revive lakes that were dying from acid rain. Unfortunately, it raised the lake's body temperature and fried the fish. Not a recipe for happiness.
Then they tried using Viagra as a washing powder, but all the clothes became too tight and rigid to wear.The researchers tried feeding Viagra to swine, cattle, and chickens, hoping to replace feed sources that now consume vast areas of land. However, the farm animals wouldn't touch the stuff. The cockroaches, however, were happy. They found it energizing, and before long there were very few barns left.
Next they decided to see if Viagra could be used as a low-polluting fuel to heat homes in the winter. That option looked promising ... until airplanes started hitting the rising chimney stacks. Problems here too.
every solution seemed to develop a side effect until they made an amazing discovery.

Viagra can save endangered species. This is no joke

Animals have taken it more seriously and now they stay more at home..(their home) than wandering outside and see to it that their population is on the increase.
Dogs in NIT Durgapur take Viagra regularly and so are always seen here n there doing you know.
Rhinos, antlers, seals and whales all feel safer now as now they have their friend Viagra to help them protect their numbers.
So next time you make or hear some joke on Viagra remember that someone, somewhere always realises its true value and potential.

The Art Of Kissing ...And Why You Should Kiss, Too

Every now and then a quarrel breaks out down at Techno, lines are drawn, challenges leveled and, with any luck, somebody walks out with very few blood stains. All over a seemingly innocent discussion: What is the greatest sport on earth?
Some say "football". Some say "baseball". Canadians say "hockey". The rest of the world says "soccer". (Actually, they say "football", too...but they mean "soccer".)
I say: "kissing". Yes, kissing is the greatest sport on earth. Allow me to explain just a few of the reasons.
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss this!", and even the Frenchie..(founded, no doubt, by early Italian pioneer kissers).

The Art of Kissing Is Easy

Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss: at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in Alaska from June through September.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the ideal participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and marsupial groupies.
Kissing always livens things up. Try this: the next time you are in an oh-so-boring meeting or a class that seems to last oh-so-foreeeeever, why not just kiss somebody. Go ahead; try it. See how it livens things up?
Kissing is legal in all over the world. Rumors are circulating that kissing will even be legalized soon on Mars, Jupiter and in Afghanistan.
Kissing is 100% biodegradable, so when you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
Kissing is safe to do in a moving vehicle, as long as you are not driving.
Kissing is non toxic...unless you kiss somebody who has just swallowed a bottle of Fevicol. Even so, kissing is still safe, as long as you do not use your mouth.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they a) need to diet or b) induce diabetes. (Read the headline: "Kissing prevents diabetes")
Kissing is organic, low in sodium, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to stifle your sense of adventure?
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your veterinarian, the Prime Minister of India and your pet aardvark. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your girlfriend and your wife.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization

Extreme Kissing NOT Recommended

The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, spurned lovers and other spectators who somehow get past security and storm onto the playing field like that well-dressed gentleman at the Superbowl.
We do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; readers in northern climates know exactly what I mean. Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll look a bit roasted.
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; we feel this one is self-explanatory. And don't kiss your office manager while on duty...unless you happen to be a totally killer guy like me.
But overall, kissing is so great that it makes baseball, hockey, football and soccer seem like bush league sports. Next time you hear a brawl at techno, just go in and give everyone a kiss. I guarantee that you will win the argument hands down. And if not, at least you will make some new friends to argue with.

Happy Kissing!!!!!!